What will Comedians do without TRUMP! Donald Trump’s First Day in the White House

Donald Trump’s first day in the White House

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Trump’s first day at the Oval Office. First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI:

Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately.
CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others.
Trump: The Democrats created them.
CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby.

Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them.
CIA: We can’t do that. It is Modi in India and not Manmohan.

Trump: So what?
CIA: Modi will cut Balochistan [sic] out of Pak.

Trump: I don’t care.
CIA: India will have peace in Kashmir. They will stop buying our weapons.
They will become a superpower. We have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir.

aaa-Donald t Pic from mashable.com

Trump: But you have to destroy the Taliban.
CIA: Sir, we can’t do that. We created the Taliban to keep Russia in check
during the 80s. Now they are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their
nukes.

Trump: We have to destroy terror sponsoring regimes in the Middle East. Let us start with the Saudis.
Pentagon: Sir, we can’t do that. We created those regimes because we wanted their oil. We can’t have democracy there, otherwise their people will get that oil – and we cannot let their people own it.

Trump: Then, let us invade Iran.
Pentagon: We cannot do that either, sir.

Trump: Why not?
CIA: We are talking to them, sir.

Trump: What? Why?
CIA: We want our stealth drone back. If we attack them, Russia will
obliterate us as they did to our buddy ISIS in Syria. Besides we need Iran
to keep Israel in check.

Trump: Then let us invade Iraq again.
CIA: Sir, our friends (ISIS) are already occupying 1/3rd of Iraq.

Trump: Why not the whole of Iraq?
CIA: We need the Shi’ite gov’t of Iraq to keep ISIS in check.

Trump: I am banning Muslims from entering US.
FBI: We can’t do that.

Trump: Why not?
FBI: Then our own population will become fearless.

Trump: I am deporting all illegal immigrants to south of the border.
Border patrol: You can’t do that, sir.

Trump: Why not?
Border patrol: If they’re gone, who will build the wall?

Trump: I am banning H1Bs.
USCIS: You cannot do that.

Trump: Why?
Chief of staff: If you do so we’ll have to outsource White House operations
to Bangalore. Which is in India.

Trump: What the hell should I do???
CIA: Enjoy the White House, sir! We will take care of the rest!!!

T rump: We should not get involved in other wars. Let them destroy
themselves.
CIA: We cannot do that, Sir.

Trump:
Why not?
CIA: Sir we drag our friends in the west and middle east to fight them and
leave them the mess to continue. When their stocks are exhausted ,then only they will place orders for our fighter jets, ammunition , technology to keep our great American spirit and economy moving.

God bless America!

A NOTE from The EDITOR, THUPPAHI: Satirists often incorporate and convey incisive political interpretations within their satire. So it is in this instance.

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1 Comment

Filed under accountability, taking the piss, the imaginary and the real, truth as casualty of war, unusual people, vengeance, world events & processes, zealotry

One response to “What will Comedians do without TRUMP! Donald Trump’s First Day in the White House

  1. Trump is a disgustingly rich JOKER

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